28.2.15

REUNION



I couldn’t sleep again last night. But this time it wasn’t from anxiety, it was from excitement and happiness.

In 3 hours and 45 minutes I will be with my children again!

I have had dreams about them, I spend evenings looking at old pictures of them, I keep their handwritten notes and drawings made for me next to my bed. Not a moment has gone by when I haven’t fantasized about hugging them, holding them again.

It hasn’t even been that long. I have been on tour longer than this. The crucial difference is: there was a time not long ago when I was absolutely sure I would never see them again.

I had farewell letters written for each of them on my person when I jumped.

It’s truly a miracle I survived. It’s a miracle I am healthy and heart-beating as I type, instead of decomposing in a box in Kentucky. If one event had been altered by even a second, I would not be here.

But the true miracle, for me, is that I was gifted another opportunity to love my children again.

And this miracle occurs in only 3 hours and 40 minutes!

I can only thank every one of you- family, friends, strangers- for propping me up, strengthening me, helping me to heal my mind. Your kind words of support and love, no matter how big or small, has helped me to find the crux of my second life: DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILDREN. 

This is what I am here for. This is the signpost that I use to navigate through the madness. This includes healing myself so I can be a present and stable father for them. I have self interests, but they are secondary and exist only under the umbrella of serving my children.

All I do, all my choices, in my second life is done for their benefit.

I am grateful to each of you.

13 comments:

Beth said...

❤️Swells of joy for you

Chris Jackson said...

Dave, all my best wishes to you. This is wonderful.

Giuliano Panzironi said...

wish you and your children (family) the best. hope to hear you playing someday. greetings from Rome

Giuliano Panzironi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Happy for your reunion David! Best wishes and blessings.

James Cresswell said...

It's great to see that things are improving. Your music's a huge inspiration, and I wish the best to you and yr loved ones! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy for you. Like many of us who follow your music and your instagram, we do so because we feel a kinship with you for whatever reason.

I was with someone for 6 years - we both work in the movie industry and one year I went to work in Vancouver and he went to London at the same time. He met a girl there and married her and never told me. I too was suicidal but didn't have the balls to get as far into the planning stage as you did.

We all have lows and we have all had someone we love do something super shitty to us (I assume!). Stay strong and know that many strangers out here think you are wonderful. If I were in her place, I would be forever grateful to have someone like you.

I'm glad you got to see your children and that you are finding strength and happiness again.

much love,
-kindred spirit

Anonymous said...

This is fantastic. It must feel so good to have this second chance. Redemption is one of the most beautiful things in life, and this is it, you know?

Anonymous said...

Just found out what happened to you while listening to "Spiderland". So glad you're still here.

A big hug from Tuscany

Anonymous said...

This is really beautiful.

Thank you.

It is very inspiring.

The kids need you, but also having children is the greatest bonding experience in the world. Bonding to them, but also to the largest group in the world: parents.

You are connected and loved.

Anonymous said...

yay
!!!

benmoore said...

They are the most beautiful images I've seen in...oh, ever! My cold heart has been warmed!

Anonymous said...

All my best to you, man. Stay strong. We love you.