Why I quit smoking

There are many good reasons to quit, but I got sick of the panic I would feel when I would start to run out of cigs. It just didn't make sense: I'm getting stressed out over poison? So I kicked the fear at the source.

Waiting on the shadow of a pretty girl

We don't ask for much these days, just any little moment you can spare. Send a single thought our direction, whatever it is. We're so hungry, we're starving, for a specific friendship.

My finished rig

Believe me, it's plenty loud, plenty tight, plenty deep. I've been looking for a natural, distorted sound that is highly controlled and tight in the low end (I'm talking about amplifiers). This is the bomb! I finally got the sound I've been looking for. With enough wattage to power two full stacks...

Mogwai / Pajo / Torche

Torche were thunderous without irony- I bought a record and a shirt. Then I walked onstage to perform my sappy love songs, trying to ignore the couple talking in front of me. Mogwai were in fantastic shape, bigger and better than ever, tearing the roof off. Phenomenal.

Hang onto yr haunts

The cop had an affair with a Ukranian Dunkin' Donuts employee. I saw it going down and laughed my ass off. Then I met with my publicist and found new ways to throw money back and forth. Had a dream about ex-friends and how uninteresting they have become. Or maybe they always were and time has delivered the vital perspective.

New York in the dark

Southwest lost my luggage, delivering it at 3am. Drunken run-ins with old and new pals, we remain unlimited. Tomorrow, Mogwai... Then Saturday I open for them at Webster Hall even though it's not listed (last minute show).

Please go, friend and foe.

The devil came down division

Jacked up with raw food in a creative, ugly womb, we assembled the pieces into some kind of geek girl fantasy.

Its tricky, when you swear to grow old with someone, when they move on. You trusted them with your dark side and your dark side pushed them away. Vows aren't made lightly, its difficult to adjust to the new parameters.

NYC: Pajo supporting Mogwai

NYC: Pajo supporting Mogwai at Webster Hall on May 13th

Hand soap

Kentucky is more dignified than most places I've resided- but still my tolerance threshold is so low these days I can't bear the thought of staying.

The greatest thing I ever found

Someone asked me today, Derby Day, what the greatest thing I ever found was. I thought about it. Pride, I answered.

Later I changed my answer: sunglasses

Tonight I drive to Louisville for the KY Derby. Monday it's off to Chicago to layout the artwork for the next record (and my last cigarette). Wednesday I go to New York to meet with my publicist and play a show with Mogwai. Gol-dang you'd think I was some kind of jet setter with all this bouncing around. Truth is, I'm a domesticated hermit.

Willpower my ass!

The sun woke up this morning and I was there. All rose and white light, I gave it my blessings. But in the back of my mind I couldn't wait for it to go back down, to leave me alone with my enchantress.

Big day for a little love

Rushing by in excitement, forgetting wallets in jeans for a brand new suit, we tore through the day, with a ray of light for all of us involved.

Scar stories

We riffed back and forth our war stories- getting beaten by jocks, rednecks, and bikers. Except when I'm with Morgan (who has more dumbass scars than anyone I know), I usually win the victim-story contest. Ain't nothing to be proud of I guess. One of those competitions where you lose out by being the winner.

I don't remember what I used to remember

Someone asked me the themes and concepts on the new record. I had to say that I wanted it to be very different from the last record- less sentimental, less lo-fi, less heartache. I still played all the instruments, but lyrically it was influenced by Hafiz, horror movies, and Gorguts. As a result, its another record that I'm not sure how people will take it.

In honor of beautiful women

If I weren't myself and I was reading this blog, I would start to wonder if I'd turned into an espresso-drinking yuppie that lives in suburbia. And maybe I am, maybe I always have been. Word, I'm not from the street and I never claimed to be. I have brilliant red cardinals in my garden. I've always made a cushion to fall on. Yet I've slept on more dirty floors than the average person, without complaint. If my life is pretty now its only because there's a pretty woman in it.

what lies ahead

so many awesome points to consider. I am already proud of the life I haven't yet lived.

A day's work

Today we talked about remixing the DC ep. I've been scanning in different logo ideas. And trying to sort out artwork for the next Pajo record- courtesy of the great web designer and artist who is Simon Descendo.

Tupelo, Mississippi

Does anyone have The Soundhouse Tapes? Can't seem to track a copy down.

Researching the best cabinets to go with my amp for Dead Child (a)live. Thinking a slant 4x12 with a flex 2x12 will give a good combination of wide spread plus volume.

Still setting up the house before I tackle the studio. Yet I still find time to buy records, my pastime, with a Nektar lp and the new Prince.

Been a while

Since I bought groceries, as evidenced.

Never bet the devil your head

There are other bands gearing up, but we are one small step ahead in progress and pulchritude. A giant leap of musicality and faith... hey ho, we're there folks!

Black in back

Always the birds do chirp for me. Sour mash flowing endlessly at the bars, I can only hope.

Blood red rain

The rain was so heavy I had to turn around. Now in a waiting room watching Rob Lowe get his hair washed.

Stay cool, ghoul

Working long hours in the studio. The songs starting to gel into one big machine. Dahm's vocals sounding more and more to me like Bruce Dickinson.

I can't wait for you to hear this.

Anxiety dream

I was playing the Dead Child mixes for Todd Brashear. After hitting play we were both stunned. It was so highly compressed and eq'ed that it made one gigantic wave of distortion. I had to apologize to him and reinforce that it really does sound great, we just fucked up the mix.

I know its a fear-dream, but it inspired me today to take out all the effects and just run it raw and naked, ala Spiderland.

Another day, another flood

Cigarettes are starting to get more and more nasty and the notion of quitting more appealing. I used to think clean air deprived me of a smoke, now it's the other way around.

Yesterday I bought the ultimate Dead Child amplifier. The perfect tone and volume without any effects or magic dust- just a deep, tight growl and roar. Doc Electro, an eccentric and endearing chap who does the best repairs in the KY/IN area.

It's a one of a kind amp which he is custom making for me (not the 'Blue Balls' amp he has on his site). I bought the very first one- he was so stoked he brought his wife out to meet me, took my photo for his website (www.docelectro.com), and free repairs for as long as he is alive! Belive it, I'm going to be hassling him on his deathbed.

The more I work on the Dead Child music the more I am convinced of our potential. Everyone is such great players/writers that anyone who wants their music lean and mean will be satiated.

Our singer, Dahm, tells these stories of a world filled with robots, zombies, and vampire whores. Michael writes songs that makes you want to fight and bounce off the walls. Tony is a monster, plays like he's trying to blow up the mics. And Todd is precise, taking it down into subsonic ranges. and I just fucking shred.

Tricks and hos

Bright blue idea! My eyes are shot from restless sleep but the songs are sounding bigger than life. Dead Child rules, ok?

Run neighbor run!

chillin' like bob dylan in louisville, hoping for some kind of mess to take charge and lead. There isn't much in this world that I can't lay out in front of my mind.

easter sunday and I'm talking to the neighbors, carrying heavy equipment at 7am, and trying my best to fight off the sleep monkeys.

I <3 KY

Driving to Louisville in a few hours. German Village / Schillers Park is beautiful but tonight Josephine Foster plays at Lisa's Oak St Lounge. And tomorrow I buy an amp, rehearse, etc.

If I had my way I would buy every little thing.

When I was 16

I quit school to go to berklee college of music- high school was interfering with my guitar practice. If I got in 6 hours it was a bad day, 9 hours was a good day. Then I failed out of Berklee because I wasn't interested in learning jazz. I was a young punk with a mohawk and my brother had just passed away- what else could I do but exactly what I want?

16 isn't too young to know your career path. Its when you're at your most bull-headed and idealistic. We do what we can.

How we roll

Got 10 million packages today- a suit from apc, a crushed butler cd, a wonder shozen dvd, king kong dvd, squigle toothpaste, multi-vitamin, etc. That's how I roll these daze.

jealous, for being close to paradise

It's still a bit cold here but the rain pounded the flowers all night and this morning their scent carried its way into my room, despite tightly closed windows. My guess is that paradise is where you look for it.

Lots of lost love

Heard a heartbeat this morning. Did a shuffle around the city collecting licenses, yukking it up in a red-eye'd haze. A host of sirens won't stir me but one sweet word is all I need to need.

Wake up, wash your face

A nice thing that happened this morning, besides the fireworks, was that I found a couple phone numbers I was missing. I'll probably never call them but I like to know I have them.

We walk down the street

I remember walking down the street with my first girlfriend- she was a goth with burgundy hair and I was a punk, or so I thought. She said, "Can I kiss your best friend tonight?" "Sure," I replied. What else could I say? Inside I was very upset, partly because she didn't have any friends that I wanted to kiss.

Last I heard she was working at a cinema and became a devout catholic.

Outdoor guitar work

First thing unpacked: espresso machine and supplies
Second thing unpacked: pod xt pro and guitar

espresso and string changing outdoors-- I know luxury!

Alive and well and living in Ohio

After numerous thunderstorms, power outtages, and tornado sirens, I can now sit in the back garden with the creatures and contemplate opening all those boxes.

Spreading out

The space for which evolution can occur. Even in no-good, nothing-to-do towns such as this!

So sick

Of moving and traveling. Give me a living surface I can get to know!

Finally moved out

And facing that 11 hr drive to ohio...

It's so late

I will deal with it tomorrow. I'll settle up with the afternoon. so much packing and sleep deprivation, I do what I can.

Untangle me!

I'm up to my chin in cables... Coiling around me like serpents!

A good place

Extricate the people that don't let you fuck up and fail. It's your job to teach yourself life lessons, not their's.

End of Innocence

Revisiting all my old NYC haunts to bid farewell. Not bad for someone who never says goodbye.

fog-haze, air-distance, swish!

anita, dog, and I went to visit the beaches outside of auckland, NZ. stunning fog-haze and stinging sun, more air-distance than I thought possible. I was hesitant to bring up lord of the rings and relieved when anita said, "you've seen lord of the rings right?" "yeah, of course." "THAT'S new zealand"

how the singapore went down

yeah, got a bit nervous and didn't eat for two days. as a result my performance was shakey and not very deliberate. henry took me around the city, the venue shaped like two giant fly-eyes (which, I learned, is also australian slang for testicles, thanks to darren hanlan), with a perfect half-moon above. still jet lagged, going to sleep unreasonably early and waking up at 3am, it all added up to the classic road-haze, thousand yard stare.

night safari: you go there at night, preferably around feeding time, and you stroll a trail while the animals roam cageless and free. my favorite bit was walking through the bat cage-- biggest things I ever saw, swooping down to your head, in big gusts of wind.

but it hasn't all been action-- I read, drink coffee, and pay virtual visits to the friend I left behind.

the four of us

you can't tell from the photo but jack ladder is 6' 6". it was always funny lowering the mic stand after his performance. aaron runs spunk records in australia and rules the surf. jens is a singer-songwriter from sweden, also on spunk.

we had a delicious vegetarian dinner overlooking the ocean after tim (jack ladder) and I did an in-store.

cd's bought today: toy love (chris knox's first band), venom singles collection, burzum.

mcsingapore

I don't think I've seen a mcdonald's burger like this anywhere else in the world. please, just a bowl of msg will do. thank you.

in auckland, new zealand

this is from the second show. I overcame stagefright by spending the day with a new friend, checking out all the beaches in the area. awe-inspiring and awesome!

I'm back in manhattan, packing up house, and still unpacking luggage.

more tour photos soon.

x

DP

In Hong Kong

Not sure if this message will go through, but I'll try anyway.

Get help. I was stuck between two incredibly fat, elbowy people and shrieking babies for twenty hours. TWENTY HOURS.

new zealand

just got in and I have to leave. very green and rainy, beautiful. singapore... more on that later. x

Miserable flight

Maybe I'm halfway there, but already the flight buggers me to no end. Too many people on top of me, touching me. I'm not down with that shit.