From 'Attack' To 'Retreat'

Priorities put everything in perspective and I am determined to create an efficient, productive beast.

Hollow Thunder

The power went out twice last night. Thunder sounds much wider out here. Hollow and cavernous. In the city and burbs it's a deep rumble. But when sound has nothing to reflect against it just travels. Like footsteps it begins far off in the distance, thudding forward slowly. Cue the strobes. Until it drops like canyon-empty oil drums on your rooftop.

Maybe so, maybe no

Maybe I could try to be a little more caring, less indulgent. Maybe I can try a little harder, forgive my enemies.

I prefer Ulver

Burzum is pretty cool but Varg aint no Neil Hagerty.

Angerboda

We are not as the children of men: we are as formless as water, or air, or fire is formless. But it is given to each of us to take on the form that is most like to our own greed.

Slapstick Morn

Pollen fluff raining slo-mo in the morning light. We laughed at my pratfalls, spitting out oatmeal. You gave long hugs despite the rank skank of uncleanliness.

An unrelated photo of a dust hog discovered on tour, pictured above.

Thunder and negligence

We associate three things with the power of Tequila: guitar, fiddle, and that one Suicide Girl.

Here, in the sticks

Out where I live the elderly couple next door invites you over for hot dogs after lending you their weedeater and shooting a dying raccoon in your driveway.

Sunlight Mosquito

Finally able to rock my dual life in one bold gesture. Dancing with the daycare workers in a Carcass shirt. Invented a new game called "Weeee!"

Shield Thy Rage

Made up for our KY goofiness with IL 'banging. Quarterstick propped us up on our wooden legs. Found a floor, a blanket, a rejected party. Four hours sleep over forty-eight hours, four espressos later and I'm still bleary with fatigue.

Beerbath

We are protecting our equipment from the various bodily fluids we are anticipating tonight. It's amazing how many people can hate you even though you haven't done anything!

Seven Days

Seven days of the cleansing fast and I feel great despite the funny sounds my belly is making. We sat around getting pissed off about bad reviews before realizing that the haters make us viable.

Lucille

Bought an old piano for $50 from a biker family out in the sticks. Moved it 45 miles before letting it rest in my living room. Had it tuned and set properly. I'll sand down the keys another time. I hereby name her... Lucille!

Chariot shoot

They started working on this at 4pm and we left at 3am. I arrived at 11pm, like an asshole. Couldn't partake in the drinking happiness because I'm three days into a cleansing fast. Somehow, an amazing video was shot with absolutely no budget!

Foggit

While making making a stage plot and input list for the tour I thought I should test the fog machines for this weekend's video shoot. Immediately set off the smoke alarm and the cat ran for cover.

Mr. Richbags

Who holds the key? I do. That's right, I do. (Big Black quote)

Shameless capitalist

I have way more music equipment and recording gear than any man should ever need and I don't give a fuck.

Velvetone Music Studio

It's time to initiate VMS08. We've been going strong for 13 years now and sounding better and better. Tomorrow Brian McMahan is bringing in a van load of recording gear from Chicago so all my time will be spent in this low-ceiling basement setting up VMS08 as well as trying to keep up with Dead Child commitments. I'm already behind on three interviews/articles. I ain't complaining-- I haven't had a day job since I was married and on food stamps in '93. In my mind, I'm on Planet Awesome.

Extricate

Tore the shiners off the morning and licked the decals from their sticky film. A bit of twine to wrap your illness and parcel it off to Costco to be developed. Let's restore our foolishness back to acceptable levels.

170 BPM

Stayed up all night writing a thrash tune that's been in my hands for a while now. 170 BPM, not bad.

Shmeaster

And to think I once saw the easter bunny running away from the house.

Sitting in the waiting room

Ran into some car trouble so I've been hanging out with pugilists and tow truck operators. One tow truck fella told me about the women that he's fooled around with when he's working. He also told waxed nostalgic about when he first started getting in fights. Some awesome barfight stories. "I'm 6'5" and 240 lbs, you don't wanna mess with me."

Raina Wotan

The gatekeeper and protector of the house: Brock the Dwarf!

iTunes

anxiety

In the turmoil of last night everything was up for scrutiny and I began to wonder what became of me. Only after a few hours sleep did it surface that the public eye is no measuring stick for achievement. Though my enemies endlessly wag their tounges behind stages, I am reticent until fully armed.

Days in the hole

On my knees with chisel and hammer

A monolithic endearment

I spent the evening writing a 2000 word essay on the new Dead Child record for a Louisville weekly. Today we don rain gear to slosh through mud. There were so many jagged limbs deeply impaled in the soggy ground. I collected them all in a burn pile for future altars.

Armies up ahead

I'll face the warriors head-on, I am not afraid. Just as soon as I clean the espresso machine and have a shower.

Solution Unknown pics by Joey Mudd (1985?)

U R COOL

Wendy (www.builtbywendy.com) sent me this awesome package. It references a time when she helped me write a breakup letter. That was the opening line!

Expelled angels

"A race against time" is one of the funnier expressions used to describe a movie.

Disguised as sheep

The gun collector was knocking at my door, pissed off because the postman accidentally delivered his mail to me. I shot him from the side.

Cozy cold

Out in the country, far from all, we gather to play in the snow before eating Indian take-away.

A proper blizzard

This is what I've been anticipating-- a day where we can't open the front door from the drifts of snow. Relentless like the falling snow, I spent the hours unburying, sliding, revving, and scraping for some yoghurt. Listened to Dissection's 'Storm of the Light's Bane' and suddenly it made perfect sense-- a perfect soundtrack for a blizzard. And an evening for cuddling up to scary movies.

Lords Of Chaos

It went from muddy green grass to 12 inches of snow in a few hours. I prepared by stocking up on food and candles. Gathered the warm bodies, made an espresso, and waited.

And then the rain froze

The car went straight into the side of the resevoir. My face bounced off the steering wheel. The accelerator pedal was jammed down so we hit the concrete again. Instictively I wedged my toes under the pedal and pulled it free. "Fuck... Fuck... Fuck..." I muttered. "What'd you say? Of all the luck?" My passenger was into rhyming everything. "Shut up!" I replied. Neither of us were wearing seatbelts so I turned to him and said, "Are you alright?" "Yeah but you're kinda fucked up." I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and my face was bloody and puffed up. "I can't open my door," I said "I'll have to get out on your side."

Shield thy pussy

I was at a 76 service station in Climax WY when I realized I didn't know how to get back to the freeway. When lost, I ask myself for direction. I replied by looking at a map.

Wind by the stalkers

The terrifying thing about stalkers is that they are irrational. Their heroes inevitably fall short of the ideal and this, alongside their lack of common sense, makes them dangerous. Privacy, if you can afford it, is the illusion of safety.

Sweet gem

Found this little gem recently:

> p.s. i'm not milking cows, just testing their milk in a lab for bacteria,
> butterfat, etc.

>> Thanks again. Hope your new job is going good. Milking cows all day
>> sounds like a lot of work.

And then it bloomed

After tending to the old shack, I told the pirates they could raid my kitchen. I hid the dog and went out in the Scandanavian rain for a hint of something dull. With an aching head I returned to the rusty lock, restored the dog and fed the kitchen.

Early morning haze

This is a good environment for reading and practicing guitar at 6am. I indulge this isolation by working as hard as possible. But, when time isn't tugging my pant leg, I let the mornings unfold at their own pace.

After a while I stopped bothering

To open the curtains. What was the point? There was nothing out there I cared about. And certainly there was nothing in here to see.

8-string Guitar

Finally I have the tool needed to get started on my next record! Can't wait for Teeth of the Hydra tomorrow, those guys slay.

I will have something to show for it.

I spend at least an hour here everyday, usually a couple of them. Running through scales and exercises, trying to nail the problems to the floor. To regain strength.

Unpacking

Got in my work clothes and spent the weekend throwing out the unflattering parts of my history. It was a cold, sunny day in Kentucky but I didn't see it. I did find an old camcorder and watched some of the funniest Papa M footage I've ever seen. I wouldn't say I was innocent then. But it was a naive and beautiful time before I met certain people I eventually despised.

I also found:

- an amazing David Berman poem in an old issue of The Minus Times
- Yngwie Malmsteen guitar tab/cd
- a photo of me on tour in England without front teeth

Fazing into 2008

I see the holes where the night was once stitched together. Its going to blow out this year- in light and love.